Monday, July 25, 2011

How Uncomfortable Can It Be To Be A Baby?

So, I wake up this morning at a quarter to six to take my dogs for a walk... my dogs are awesome and like to bark at me this early in the morning running the risk of waking up Zoey as well at this ungodly hour... quarter to six is actually decent for them, usually it's five. I stumble through suburbia still half a sleep walking with about one third of my vision cursing my dogs the whole time only to get back inside walk back upstairs to my bed to see Zoey sprawled across my side of the bed horizontally... Hence why I'm writing this blog at six in the morning.

So, I sit on the edge of the bed and ponder if I should just give in, not try to grab twenty minutes more of sleep and just get up when I realized that Zoey must be the worst sleeper ever.

I watched her twist and turn about twenty times while I sat on the edge of the bed for about a minute.


I watched her go from horizontally spread out in a star to vertical into a ball and it took her about a thousands moves to get there.

Who the hell sleeps like that? Did we all sleep like that as babies?

I'm sure as hell glad it stopped if we did. Could you imagine?

If my wife slept like that, I don't think Zoey would exist. It's stupid, how uncomfortable can a baby be? The strangest part is she is always moving up until she is banging her head on the head board and then she stops and gets comfy. REALLY? That's the point that you get comfortable after smashing your head in to wood?

Babies are weird or maybe it's just Zoey.

Just so you know Zoey, you don't have to sleep in my bed if it's so uncomfortable that you need twist and turn and kick and punch me through the night. You have a great baby sized crib that has a pretty great mattress, you should really give it a whirl, you might like it.

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