This week Zoey became fully confident in movement. She used to roll over, squirm around a bit, crawl on occasion within about a 4 foot radius, but now, she's non stop moving.
She is attracted to turning the stereo on and off. Our stereo is strategically placed about 3 inches off the ground. She is also drawn to the CD/DVD shelf which also has shelves starting at about 3 inches off the ground, perfect baby height.
I've resorted to taking the cushion used for our patio set and placing them around the said areas to deter her. She just knocks them down, pillows are not a good means of defense, I may have to opt to build a moat around any areas that I don't want her to go near.
Also, with this new found love of movement, it requires me to change some of my older habits. For example, putting Zoey in the corner of the couch for brief moments.
How did I learn that this technique no longer works, read on.
So, I'm about to go get some groceries, which I do about 5 times a week because I have no forethought when it comes to what to eat the next day and so on. I just finished feeding Zoey and wanted to run the Roomba while I was gone. I put Zoey on the ground and our pugs instantly swarm her trying to eat every last crumb off her pants, face and hands. Thinking they may end up biting her by accident, I put her up on the couch.
Watching her the whole way, I walk behind the couch to get the Roomba. The second I bend down out of her sight, all I hear is a dense thud, then screaming.
Awesome, Zoey has crashed on to the ground... way to go, Hanson, you've given your daughter brain damage.
I rush over to her and start comforting her, feeling horrible. As I watched the small goose egg on her head form I felt like I was going to vomit. All I could think was in a few years from now when her teacher takes me aside and tells me that my daughter is a little remedial, it'll be all my fault.
After a few minutes she calmed down and reluctantly I headed out to the grocery store, thinking, if she passes out, at least you're on the road and you can just head to the hospital.
Fearing I've given her some kinda of head trauma and the death of my daughter will be on my shoulders, while driving, I continually shouted her name for a reaction out of her to make sure she is still alive.
At the grocery store, everything seemed fine. She was her normally happy self. I started to forget about the thud of the hardwood floor that echoed through my brain.
As we're leaving, I'm pushing the grocery cart through the parking lot, I'm watching her pretty closely just to monitor her, then, she starts closing her eyes. I know she's not tired, cuz she just went for a nap about 30 minutes ago, I panic.
I start repeating her name over and over again, her eyes still closed. With the increase in my blood pressure, I go right for her eyes and start prying them open while still saying her name.
She's smiles at me, her gap tooth goofy grin, but still won't open her eyes.
Is she fucking with me? A sign of intelligence or not, I am concerned for your life here.
Then, I notice she is kinda looking over me. I turn and look over my shoulder and notice that the sun is blasting her in the face and therefore she can't open her eyes.
I quickly put her in the car and hope that no one saw my breakdown and called child services on me for attempting to pry open the eyes of my baby while yelling her name repeatedly in her face.
THE FIX
On Saturday we picked up a baby octagonal prison. No longer does she have access to the stereo, shelves and dog water and she is ready to commence her UFC training. We went out and got some foam squares and cut them to fit the cage. Up next, some gloves and our first televised fight night. I'm thinking she can spar with the dogs to get ready.
Bring on the baby fights!
Just so you guys are all aware, next Thursday will be the first full day I have with Zoey. The wife has an event after work, so, time to sink or swim with getting her to sleep in her crib, which, I still have yet to successfully do.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
A day without Zoey
Yesterday I got to spend some time without Zoey. After 2 weeks of being on pure baby time, it was almost surreal.
First, I had a meeting to start putting my new short film in motion.
It was great to be able to sit down and enjoy a coffee outside without having to continually look over my shoulder. Zoey has a tendency to be super content up until the point that I start to actually enjoy myself. Then, with the flip of a switch, she becomes restless and wants attention or craps her pants. Usually it's the crapping of the pants. I think the look of relaxation on my face somehow triggers it.
Anyhow, it was awesome to see that this, my potential last short film, may actually be coming into fruition and talking to an adult was nice to. I had to refrain from making faces at him during any lull in conversation out of some strange habit I've taken up when I have no more ways to entertain Zoey.
Then, I visited my work.
It was great to see my co-workers again and really just to be able to socialize with adults. Something I really take for granted, but, the way I felt by the time I got home was great. Nothing against Zoey, I love her, I think I just need to recruit some like minded stay at home dads to talk to through the week to help maintain my sanity.
If I can continue to get this one day, I think it'll really help me along for the 3 months. By the time I did pick up Zoey, I was happy to see her, and prior to picking her up, I even kinda missed her... well I did fully miss her, but, didn't miss the lack of freedom.
I'm learning that balance is the key to all this, like almost everything in life. Now, it's just a matter of figuring it all out.
Starting pre-production this weekend. I look forward to seeing how I juggle that responsibility over the next few weeks while taking care of the Zo. Hopefully we have some nice weather, she seems to relax easier out there, and I can maybe draw a storyboard or two a day...wish me luck.
First, I had a meeting to start putting my new short film in motion.
It was great to be able to sit down and enjoy a coffee outside without having to continually look over my shoulder. Zoey has a tendency to be super content up until the point that I start to actually enjoy myself. Then, with the flip of a switch, she becomes restless and wants attention or craps her pants. Usually it's the crapping of the pants. I think the look of relaxation on my face somehow triggers it.
Anyhow, it was awesome to see that this, my potential last short film, may actually be coming into fruition and talking to an adult was nice to. I had to refrain from making faces at him during any lull in conversation out of some strange habit I've taken up when I have no more ways to entertain Zoey.
Then, I visited my work.
It was great to see my co-workers again and really just to be able to socialize with adults. Something I really take for granted, but, the way I felt by the time I got home was great. Nothing against Zoey, I love her, I think I just need to recruit some like minded stay at home dads to talk to through the week to help maintain my sanity.
If I can continue to get this one day, I think it'll really help me along for the 3 months. By the time I did pick up Zoey, I was happy to see her, and prior to picking her up, I even kinda missed her... well I did fully miss her, but, didn't miss the lack of freedom.
I'm learning that balance is the key to all this, like almost everything in life. Now, it's just a matter of figuring it all out.
Starting pre-production this weekend. I look forward to seeing how I juggle that responsibility over the next few weeks while taking care of the Zo. Hopefully we have some nice weather, she seems to relax easier out there, and I can maybe draw a storyboard or two a day...wish me luck.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
A Week in Review - The Week
So.... the week.
Monday opens up as you'd expect it to with a baby with the flu.
Puking.
Interestingly enough, Zoey pukes, but the resumes going back to playing or whatever it is she's doing like nothing happened.
She's a little bit crankier than normal during the day, but, also more tired, which would be great except.... right.... I still can't get her to sleep in her bed.
I spend most of the day on the couch with a sleeping sweaty baby on me. For some that might be great, watching TV, not working... for me... it's horrible.
I lie on my back thinking staring at the stipple in my ceiling thinking about all the things I could be doing... polishing up a script, fleshing out a new idea, getting some prep done on my short film. But, NO, ceiling for you!
She wakes up, I peel her sweat laden body off me, leaving a baby shape on my T-shirt and take her over to the chair to feed her.
She's not really that hungry and then...
SHE EXPLODES.
Out the back of her diaper soiling her high chair.
WHAT? Babies have germs?
This day continues to be this pretty much all day.
Tuesday was a bit better, no puking, but, diapers are still horrible. I missed the poos of old.
Then comes Tuesday night.
My wife and I awake to find ourselves horribly, horribly sick. Running back and forth from the bed to the washroom...
WOW! Thanks, this could've all been avoided, but, remember, babies' drool is made from unicorn urine and fairy sweat.
Zoey, still refusing to sleep in her crib, somehow peacefully sleep through this horrid marathon me and her mother are on up and down the hall, but will wake up then second her door creaks when she's put down in her crib??
Wednesday, which was supposed to be a day from me to get work done while Zoey visits with grandma, turns into Grandma taking Zoey so me and wifey can be sick all day and lie around more unproductive than ever and viciously sick to boot.
AWESOME SAUCE!
Thursday was me trying to cope with Zoey while still recovering from this plague brought on by the children of the corn... I hardly remember it... All I remember is the music of Zoey's toy giraffe playing over and over again.
I sat her in front of it and just lied on the floor trying to maintain consciousness while she hit the button over and over again. It is some kind of circus/fair like song that you hear playing while a carney berates you in front of your date making you feel already more awkward than you already are.... or is that just me?
That was Thursday... and Friday... I got nothing done and felt horrible as well... it was great. It was the longest week of my life. I have worked some boring jobs and what not, but, this was seriously the week that wouldn't end.
The only real difference between Friday and Thursday is that I watched "How to Die in Oregon." A great documentary, but, horribly hard to watch and pretty damn sad. So, not only am I sick, but, I'm seeing people much sicker than I am. You'd think I'd start magically feeling better and not so sorry for myself... instead I think I might be dying.
Having a baby is a tough, tough job.
This weekend we hope to get her sleeping back in her crib to maybe maintain our relationship just enough to not be on Zoey time all the time. I really hope we have some success.
Monday opens up as you'd expect it to with a baby with the flu.
Puking.
Interestingly enough, Zoey pukes, but the resumes going back to playing or whatever it is she's doing like nothing happened.
She's a little bit crankier than normal during the day, but, also more tired, which would be great except.... right.... I still can't get her to sleep in her bed.
I spend most of the day on the couch with a sleeping sweaty baby on me. For some that might be great, watching TV, not working... for me... it's horrible.
I lie on my back thinking staring at the stipple in my ceiling thinking about all the things I could be doing... polishing up a script, fleshing out a new idea, getting some prep done on my short film. But, NO, ceiling for you!
She wakes up, I peel her sweat laden body off me, leaving a baby shape on my T-shirt and take her over to the chair to feed her.
She's not really that hungry and then...
SHE EXPLODES.
Out the back of her diaper soiling her high chair.
WHAT? Babies have germs?
This day continues to be this pretty much all day.
Tuesday was a bit better, no puking, but, diapers are still horrible. I missed the poos of old.
Then comes Tuesday night.
My wife and I awake to find ourselves horribly, horribly sick. Running back and forth from the bed to the washroom...
WOW! Thanks, this could've all been avoided, but, remember, babies' drool is made from unicorn urine and fairy sweat.
Zoey, still refusing to sleep in her crib, somehow peacefully sleep through this horrid marathon me and her mother are on up and down the hall, but will wake up then second her door creaks when she's put down in her crib??
Wednesday, which was supposed to be a day from me to get work done while Zoey visits with grandma, turns into Grandma taking Zoey so me and wifey can be sick all day and lie around more unproductive than ever and viciously sick to boot.
AWESOME SAUCE!
Thursday was me trying to cope with Zoey while still recovering from this plague brought on by the children of the corn... I hardly remember it... All I remember is the music of Zoey's toy giraffe playing over and over again.
I sat her in front of it and just lied on the floor trying to maintain consciousness while she hit the button over and over again. It is some kind of circus/fair like song that you hear playing while a carney berates you in front of your date making you feel already more awkward than you already are.... or is that just me?
That was Thursday... and Friday... I got nothing done and felt horrible as well... it was great. It was the longest week of my life. I have worked some boring jobs and what not, but, this was seriously the week that wouldn't end.
The only real difference between Friday and Thursday is that I watched "How to Die in Oregon." A great documentary, but, horribly hard to watch and pretty damn sad. So, not only am I sick, but, I'm seeing people much sicker than I am. You'd think I'd start magically feeling better and not so sorry for myself... instead I think I might be dying.
Having a baby is a tough, tough job.
This weekend we hope to get her sleeping back in her crib to maybe maintain our relationship just enough to not be on Zoey time all the time. I really hope we have some success.
A Week in Review - The Weekend
Sorry to the few that actually read this thing, but, this week was just crazy.
Buddhism states that life is suffering, babies are definitely a part of that equation. Again, I applaud my wife and anyone else there who has a baby like Zoey, who's ability to go from awesome to insanely frustrating in 0.04 seconds is a feat all its own.
Let me tee this up starting with last weekend.
Okay, so the good.
We got given a car. One of my mother in law's friends decided to give us her old Saturn which is great. The only downside is that is that it kinda smells. By kinda, I mean that it's probably what you'd imagine some old miser who traded in his suit and big house for overalls, a shack in the woods would smell like... but still... FREE!
Also, I got to show off my new fatherly skills by helping put Zoey to sleep and helping out with her more. Which was a nice sign of progression for me because I felt a lot less useless in the "Zoey is being crazy" mode and was actually able to help. Before I would stand idly by while my wife tried to cull her. By idly by, I mean watch a movie or play my Playstation.
It made me feel pretty good to know I could help and it helped me relate to my wife a lot more.
The bad.
On Sunday we had some people over to pick up some baby supplies we were giving them. They came in with their two children and stayed around for about thirty minutes.
At first, this was pretty interesting to me because I got to see Zoey interact with another baby. She was interested and very vocal about the whole experience, it was a pretty cool thing to see. She then proceed to take the other baby's soother and put it in her mouth. My wife quickly jumped in, took the soother away and told Zoey not to do that.
The mom of the other little one quickly jumped in and stated that it's just baby drool, there's no big deal. For those of you that don't know, babies don't carry germs in their saliva, it's made up of rainbows and teddy bears instead. Germs don't happen until you are at least able to talk.
Leaving my sarcasm for my few readers, I said nothing.
So, time passed. They get up and are about to leave, when the mom casually drops this nice little tidbit of information.
"My kids are just getting over the flu."
WTF!
Why did you not just stay in the car?
But, being Canadian or politely stupid, we say nothing and they leave.
The ugly.
We go to bed that night with Zoey. Zoey is being a terror and has decided that since she doesn't get to see her mom enough during the day that she is going to start sleeping in our bed despite our efforts and her apparent chloroform resilience.
So, my wife and I are both awoken in the middle of the night, but a beautiful geyser of milk and other varieties of mushed up food spewing from Zoey as she lies on her back.
WHOOOOOPPPPEEE!!!! Zoey is sick... just in time for the week to start with daddy!
Buddhism states that life is suffering, babies are definitely a part of that equation. Again, I applaud my wife and anyone else there who has a baby like Zoey, who's ability to go from awesome to insanely frustrating in 0.04 seconds is a feat all its own.
Let me tee this up starting with last weekend.
Okay, so the good.
We got given a car. One of my mother in law's friends decided to give us her old Saturn which is great. The only downside is that is that it kinda smells. By kinda, I mean that it's probably what you'd imagine some old miser who traded in his suit and big house for overalls, a shack in the woods would smell like... but still... FREE!
Also, I got to show off my new fatherly skills by helping put Zoey to sleep and helping out with her more. Which was a nice sign of progression for me because I felt a lot less useless in the "Zoey is being crazy" mode and was actually able to help. Before I would stand idly by while my wife tried to cull her. By idly by, I mean watch a movie or play my Playstation.
It made me feel pretty good to know I could help and it helped me relate to my wife a lot more.
The bad.
On Sunday we had some people over to pick up some baby supplies we were giving them. They came in with their two children and stayed around for about thirty minutes.
At first, this was pretty interesting to me because I got to see Zoey interact with another baby. She was interested and very vocal about the whole experience, it was a pretty cool thing to see. She then proceed to take the other baby's soother and put it in her mouth. My wife quickly jumped in, took the soother away and told Zoey not to do that.
The mom of the other little one quickly jumped in and stated that it's just baby drool, there's no big deal. For those of you that don't know, babies don't carry germs in their saliva, it's made up of rainbows and teddy bears instead. Germs don't happen until you are at least able to talk.
Leaving my sarcasm for my few readers, I said nothing.
So, time passed. They get up and are about to leave, when the mom casually drops this nice little tidbit of information.
"My kids are just getting over the flu."
WTF!
Why did you not just stay in the car?
But, being Canadian or politely stupid, we say nothing and they leave.
The ugly.
We go to bed that night with Zoey. Zoey is being a terror and has decided that since she doesn't get to see her mom enough during the day that she is going to start sleeping in our bed despite our efforts and her apparent chloroform resilience.
So, my wife and I are both awoken in the middle of the night, but a beautiful geyser of milk and other varieties of mushed up food spewing from Zoey as she lies on her back.
WHOOOOOPPPPEEE!!!! Zoey is sick... just in time for the week to start with daddy!
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